Ask a Guy: Dating a Guy with Financial Problems
Is it wise or okay to have financial relationship deal-breakers? But the underlying issue isn't the money itself; it's the fact that you hold different are relationship deal-breakers, particularly if you're "just dating" or in the early. What do men really think about money and dating and what should be your to be financially compatible with the person you are dating, and if issues aren't. Research from LearnVest's Money Habits and Confessions Survey, conducted by Wakefield Research, concluded that financial issues are more than twice as.
Guess where this leaves you?
Relationship Money Laws - AskMen
The number 2 position, if you are lucky. One man dresses in ordinary, everyday clothes. He lives in an average house and drives a used car.
The second man dresses in the finest suits and shoes. He drives only the newest and best cars. Which man is the financially secure man?
The answer is the former. However, people that are financially sound and secure in themselves do not need flashy clothes or houses to prove anything. They maintain an average lifestyle so they can continue saving and investing their money. They spend their time enjoying the simple things in life and prefer someone to love them for who they are rather than what they have. These men and women are the diamonds in the rough. Do you have dating stories about money? Do you think these assumptions are accurate?
A pattern like this could suggest there's something underlying his patchy employment history other than a bad economy or bum luck. Whether it's a problem with authority or a lack of responsibility, neither bodes well for your long-term happiness. If multiple employers don't find him reliable, odds are you won't either. Even men who were relatively happy in their marriages were more likely to skedaddle if they lost a job. The researchers chalk it up to the fact that there's still more societal pressure on men to be the breadwinners.
Look at the big picture. Was he affected by the recession?
Does he work in a particularly volatile industry? If neither of those explains the pattern, talk to your partner about your concerns and see whether he has a good explanation If it's the latter, you may want to recommend he seek help from a therapist to figure out the underlying issues.
Dating a commitment-phobe can actually mean you're hurting your chances not just of walking down the aisle, but also of accumulating wealth.
Researchers have found that getting married improves your fortune in more ways than one. First, there are economies of scale two can live more cheaply than one, and each specializes in what he or she is good at -- like fixing a computer or changing a light bulb, so you can save on hiring someone to do the task.
But there's also something about committing to a life together that has a halo effect on your finances. Overall, married couples save and invest more for the future and, at the same time, act as built-in insurance for each other against uncertainties like an illness or pink slips.
And something about committing to a partner makes men more virile economically: Only you can answer whether marriage matters to you. Happily, building assets together, researchers say, is one way to grow closer as a couple. There are two considerations at work here: Bankruptcy suggests that, at least at one point in their life, the person you love got so deep in a financial hole he or she couldn't see another way out.
In certain professions like some areas of financea bankruptcy may hinder your efforts to get hired: A recent District Court ruling found that a non-government employer may choose not to hire someone based on a past bankruptcy. And, since it remains on your credit report for up to ten years, and a foreclosure for seven, it can also impact whether the two of you would be able to get a loan for a car or a house of your own someday. Have a frank talk about the circumstances that led up to the crisis: Was it a slew of medical bills after an unexpected surgery, or pure financial irresponsibility?
What was the situation, is it likely to be repeated -- and are you jeopardizing your own financial well-being? The most common things they conceal?
Love and Money: The 7 Types of Guys to Avoid Dating When It Comes to Finances
Whether he's hiding how much he makes, how much he owes, or you caught him red-handed withdrawing money from your account -- true story of a friend's ex -- it can lead you to question: Have a talk about "financial infidelity. Are there any money uglies in your past you need to talk about? The issue here isn't so much your bottom line, but trust, which underlies the foundation of every relationship.
If you catch him in a lie that shakes your belief in who he is, it can be hard to rebuild your faith in each other, let alone a solid financial future together.
From Someone There's cheap. And then there's the eternal mooch. This is the type who's always asking his friends to "spot him" and promising to "get them back next time. And he's no stranger to loans from friends and family -- often in the form of help from his parents. While there aren't many stats to prove the deleterious effects of the mooch, odds are, if you're seeing one, you know the drawbacks well yourself. Not only does he sap your bottom line, he can also do a number on your energy.
That's because, often, a financial mooch thinks the world owes him something In this case, it's worth it to have a frank talk, and tell him how his money behavior is galling you. If he's not truly broke, and the behavior still doesn't change, it's time to refer him to a good therapist. Have you dated someone who was a financial red flag? If so, tell us how you coped -- and what happened.