I asked a female friend what she thought of dating Jewish men — she's had a number There are the non-religious ones, who don't want any commitment. They had to wear s NHS glasses and have floppy black hair. Jdate, Online dating service catering to Jewish singles, is increasing in popularity for non-Jews looking to date Jewish men and women; photos. As millennial Jewish women, we have lots of thoughts and feelings on dating. My parents wouldn't disown me if I wanted to marry a non-Jew, but they have always said . Though the man I'm dating has extremely curly hair.
I considered every single moment of Reform summer camp to be a part of one long first date. I have been on three and counting dates with Jewish boys that were set up by my mother.
One example of a place I met someone who became a long term boyfriend? So I believe I have the credentials to prove that I am a non-self-hating, equal-opportunity fan of Jewish men. No one who can trace his ancestry back to medieval Ashkenaz or the mellahs of Morocco can escape me.
Wanted nice and normal Jewish man, do they even exist?
But in my mids, living and dating in New York City, I have found myself asking these questions: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if I do not take this opportunity to ask the world why the men on the dating app Jswipe are uniformly awful, when will I? When I graduated college, I downloaded Jswipe as well as several other non-religiously specific dating apps. My friends did the same. We were excited by the prospect of meeting people who would not immediately start reminiscing about their Intro to Philosophy term papers—so much the better if they were Jewish.
Like so many off-brand Jared Kushners, the men who populate Jswipe largely fall into these categories: Compared to American Jewish men found in other places, including similar non-religious dating apps, the men on Jswipe are, in general, significantly less likable, dateable, and interesting. Why are the men on JSwipe extreme caricatures of negative stereotypes about American Jews?
I gathered four of my female friends, all of whom have been on two or more Jswipe dates, to discuss this. The group was comprised of two Jewish professionals, an artist, and an administrator—all Jewish women under the age of Three were straight, one bisexual.
I have assigned them the nom-de-plumes Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.
The Men On Jewish Dating App JSwipe Are Awful – The Forward
What do you think of Jswipe? I hate JSwipe for the following reasons. Almost everybody is deeply unattractive. JSwipe is a last-resort dating app. You go here before you die. I am enjoying JSwipe for its pure dumbness.
Have you gone on a date with someone from JSwipe?
Jewish intermarriage rates supposedly are at the heart of Jewish online dating and matchmaking sites, they are sold as the answer to finding a Jewish soul mate, and the statistics are dire.
According to a Pew Research Center survey, the intermarriage rate in the US is 48 percent among all American Jews, 60 percent among non-Orthodox Jews between the ages ofthe number inflates to an overwhelming 71 percent not factoring Orthodox Jews, where 98 percent marry within the religion.
The intermarriage rate was 43 percent in and just 17 percent in The bigger problem is that these intermarriages are not just coming from the children of intermarried couples or those who do not identify as Jewish but a majority who consider themselves religiously Jewish. The matchmakers at the dating sites are either uninterested, just looking out to make sure their customer gets a match regardless if is good or not.
You have a pulse, he has a pulse.
As a woman in her mid-thirties, I can say I was mistreated by the shadchanim, matchmakers more than then by the men, one expects better behavior from the matchmakers. Most of the matchmakers are Orthodox women, even rabbis and they should be concerned about Jewish continuity and be curbing intermarriage hardly. The matchmakers on the dating sites act like the entire Jewish community coming for their help is ultra-Orthodox rather than different levels of observance, and take the issues of the Shidduch Crisis from one region and apply it to other areas, cities, and countries.
The sexism is rampant and they forget we are living in a modern world and someone who is modern Orthodox lives in both worlds. They want the perfect pre-feminism woman, all pretty, and no brains to serve the men and their whims. I have been told to change my hair, makeup have photos professionally done because men just look at the picture and have to like what they see, even though there was nothing wrong with my looks.
Their demands contradict everything modern women are told they should not do for a man, change their looks or themselves. This age is about being who you are and you should be liked on your merits if not, they are not worth your time. Ironically, the sexist double standard does not apply to the men; men are precious crown jewels to be treated with the utmost care, where it is supposed to the reverse.
Repeatedly I have been told by matchmakers to dumb myself down, both my career and education not to offend and intimidate the men all to make myself more marketable. For the young women in the ultra-Orthodox community, who are less confident because they are still young and impressionable, the criticism can have disastrous and deadly consequences.
Eating disorders are disproportionately more rampant in the Orthodox community than any other segment of the American population. The woman was most concerned about how that philosophy and disparagement would affect other young women. This is not a joke, and it is not funny at all. You could literally be killing people by making these suggestions and perpetuating the ethos that underlies them. Trying to be open-minded and not superficial, I revisited a one man I had not given enough of a chance mostly because he was local, that was the biggest mistake of my recent online dating cycle.
We had nothing really in common all he was interested in fundraising for his business venture including from me, talking about himself, and bad mouthing everyone else.
Wanted nice and normal Jewish man, do they even exist? | Bonnie K. Goodman | The Blogs
The more I did not want to go with this man the more his matchmakers, who were personal friends of his, forced him literally down my throat to the point that they were stalking me.
I complained and instead of reprimanding the man or his matchmakers, sexism and favoritism towards the man prevailed, and I was the one thrown off because the matchmaking site said, since I am not comfortable I should not be on the site. Therefore, the receptionist at the call center decided my online dating fate by erasing my profiles and locking me out on the entire Jewish matchmaking network.
I was a victim being punished just as the MeToo movement was exploding. No one should be blocked from a Jewish matchmaking for marriage site because he or she did not want to go with someone, it is the most personal decision. In this intermarriage climate, these sites should be doing everything possible to ensure every Jew willing should be able to marry another Jew. Afterward, I tried private matchmakers but in my area, if you are looking for someone outside the ultra-Orthodox world they are a thing of the past.
Most personal matchmakers are in the ultra-Orthodox world where matchmaking is the normal way of getting a partner for marriage. For someone of my religious observance, I am too religious to intermarry and not religious for the ultra-Orthodox community. I tried contacting the limited few in my city.
I was looking for him to be my savior, we talked, I explained what I went through, he told me to send my profile then crickets.
It is sad that even matchmakers resort to ghosting. Matchmakers and rabbis have an obligation, duty, and moral responsibility to help a Jewish single find a Jewish spouse.
The way Jewish online dating and matchmaking is set up and the potential dating pool only discourages a Jewish single even more. Online dating even in the Jewish world with a religious mission is still at heart a business about making money. The dating sites try to lure one to pay their subscription only to be disappointed once one is signed up. Neither should the prices be so high for what is a religious obligation for matchmakers and rabbis to do a mitzvah.
Most of the men on the dating sites expect to have the women pay for them, host them, pay for business ventures, or support them financially. Another deficit, if you are not a rich Jewish single your chances of getting help from any matchmaker is virtually non-existent. There is a lot of preaching and concern about intermarriage but when it comes to help, there is none.
Since I have been completely left out of the Jewish matchmaking world, I am going to make a public call looking for a nice and normal Jewish man. I challenge any matchmakers to go beyond their prejudices against single women in their thirties, their unfounded criticism of appearance, and reliance on fees and dowries to help me: Highly educated, intellectual, artistic, petite, relative good-looking and moderately religious female in her mid-thirties looking for a nice, normal, equally career-minded relative good-looking moderately religious Jewish male.
A man, who respects a woman and considers a woman an equal partner. A co-star rather than a supporting actress to his star billing.
A man who loves animals because people open to animals are more loving, considerate and compassionate all good qualities in a potential partner. A man who stands on his feet and is not looking for a woman to support him just because of his gender. A moderately religious man, who appreciates and observes the Shabbat and the holidays but without fanaticism, who equally lives in the secular world and all it has to offer. A man understands that a woman also wants to observe the religion put live in the secular world in every way, from career, hobbies, to the way she dresses.